I always have great plans for how I’m going to dress Darling Boy for Halloween. This year I was thinking about it over the summer and decided to have him dress as Doctor Who and we could make his wheelchair into a T.A.R.D.I.S. I enlisted my crafty friends to help me execute this and Stark Raving Mad Mommy found this adorable wheelchair T.A.R.D.I.S. It’s just what I wanted.
But that was August. When October rolled around I thought about it and no other action occurred. Of course, I felt guilty about it. Guilt is a given for someone with Irish/Italian ancestry with some long years of Catholic education thrown in. (16 years, people, I even went to a Christian Brothers college.)
For the past several years, due to the magic of the internet, I’ve seen more and more cute ideas of how to incorporate a wheelchair into the costume. I am including some pictures that I got from the 3E movement. I love all of them and admire how these parents are advocating for their kids to be included. But really I am lucky I can wield a glue gun without burning myself.
Of course, this gets me into the whole train of thought that I should be able to do this. Despite the fact that I generally suck at constructing anything. For instance, The oldest daughter put together D.B.’s stroller out of the box without reading the instructions and she was only 14 at the time. She has that kind of brain. The same task would have taken me several hours and I would have at least one extra part that I didn’t know where to put. To add to that, I just don’t have the energy to transform his wheelchair into a blue police box. This is when I wish I taught at Hogwarts and could just magic it up. Besides,training in nurses and doing my normal every day stuff like working and keeping up the house, dr. appointments, and ferrying kids to sporting events seemed to fill the day.
I came across this blog post, Lowering the Bar and I started to feel better about my lack of effort. Really, we have the whole costume thing planned out. He ‘s going as the 9th Doctor. There are 11 of them, people, and the 9th is the easiest. I bought him a black v neck t-shirt and he’s going to wear his dad’s leather jacket. I’m putting this quote on his communication device:
“I’m the Doctor. I’m a Time Lord. I’m from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterbous. I’m 903 years old and I’m the man who is going to save your lives and all 6 billion people on the planet below. You got a problem with that?”
Life is much easier for me when I lower my expectations. I remember how we would recycle Halloween costumes that we got from the five and dime store. It was so exciting to go up in the attic and get the costumes down to see what fit. Then we started making our own costumes as we got older. I remember that every Halloween we would go to a neighbor’s house after trick or treating and have cupcakes. They had 5 boys and the dad always came up with some creative costume like being a table with fruit on it or a comfy chair. We loved it but we never expected it from our parents. He was the exception when I was growing up. Now we hype up every damn holiday to the point that people get stressed over it. I am going into this holiday season with a new calmness. I will get done what needs to be done so that we can enjoy each other. As the kids get older, we try to cut down on presents and do things that require presence. This may involve going to the movies or seeing a play. The Oldest Daughter and I want to create memories for our kids of doing things together.
What are your thoughts on the upcoming holiday season? Do you think we make things more difficult by having such high expectations for ourselves?